Monthly Archives: November 2013

Let the holiday onslaught begin!

I say that as though it hasn’t already started in the world at large, but I was pretty good at avoiding it. The first holiday song I listen to is “Alice’s Restaurant.” I always wait until the day after Thanksgiving to unleash the holiday spirit, and this year is no different. Sure, it’s already Hanukkah, and Advent begins Sunday, but I really wasn’t in any hurry despite the time crunch. Our advent wreath is ready to go, and we’re clearing spaces for the Manger scene and the Tree (#CatholicProblems, right?). I’m making a wish list, and it it’s way different than lists of years past. The shopping list had been shortened as well, and I really hope it works out.
Let me be clear: I’m not a Scrooge. I love Christmas, always have. But I’m not kidding when I call it the holiday onslaught. It’s all so… “in your face” these days. It’s just too much. I love hearing Christmas Carols, but it seems like everyone has their own version of Jingle Bells, or White Christmas, or O Holy Night…. I just. Don’t. Need. To. Hear. Them. All.

Especially not within one hour.

So I’ll be applying radio to my ears sparingly. Pop music is good in December, too.

I also don’t shop this weekend. I did it once, and while it was a good experience, it just doesn’t appeal to me. Being essentially broke helps, to be honest.

I like to think I’m getting it right. My kids aren’t greedy, and show proper appreciation for what they get. We donate when we can, because we’re still better off than other folks and we know it. So maybe it doesn’t look all bling-y. Maybe Christmas doesn’t puke all over my home.

Maybe, just maybe, moderation is the key to surviving the holidays. (Rum-spiked apple cider would be good, too.)

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The opportunity that wasn’t…

Have you ever watched the folks on the Dr. Oz Show talk about their poop and think to yourself, “How do they get these people to talk about this??”

Apparently it’s not that hard. I was willing to do it.

I happened to be putzing around Facebook (like you do) and saw a post from the Dr. Oz Show asking about snoring. In the grand scheme of things, the fact that I snore isn’t too embarrassing… Besides, I don’t usually snore. It mostly happens when I’m very pregnant (which is NOT NOW). But it has been happening again recently. So I went ahead to the website and told my story. I’ve done that a couple times, for different shows, and nothing ever comes of it.
So imagine my surprise when I was contacted by a production assistant to cone on the show and talk to “America’s Doctor”! So exciting!

I sent emails back and forth to the guy, and sent him pictures so that he could get wardrobe to have stuff for me (eep!), and generally make arrangements to be on the show.

Until I got the email that said they were “going in a different direction” with the segment, and that they wouldn’t need me.

Well, shit.

On the bright side, it was going to be a huge hassle to have the kids taken care of while we went to the city, and we didn’t have to worry about that. The hubs and I were invited to be in the audience anyway, but we decided against it.

The Dr. Oz Show is going to have a segment on the phenomenon “Witchy Resting Face Syndrome” soon. I might get my chance after all. I’ll keep you posted.

I’m not the only one who does this…

You know how I tend to quote music lyrics? I do it with movie quotes, too. And I especially love it when I post one quote on Facebook and all my friends post other quotes from the same movie. Sometimes it’s a quiz, a litmus test of how geeky my friends are. Other times, it’s just an indication that the movie is on TV and my friends can go watch it, too.
Thankfully, I’m not alone in this practice. I was just remembering today about announcing to my family that I was expecting for the first time. It was a week or so after my birthday, and we were having a party at my parents’ home. After the initial surprise and joy, my oldest brother-in-law went to my father and ripped off lines from “The Godfather”: Thank you for inviting me to your home on the occasion of your daughter’s birth. And may her first child be a masculine child.
Without blinking, my father replied, I thank you, my old and loyal friend.

Seriously…that happened. (My dad’s always been like that… when Monty Python aired in the late ’80s on PBS and my sister’s friends thought it was hilarious, they’d quote it in front of him and he’d respond, because he loved the show, too. He earned serious teen creed for it. Being 10, my attempts to quote the show didn’t go over as well…)

Speaking of Monty Python… This evening, I noticed a friend had commented on Governor Christie’s Facebook page. He’s fielding questions, since this is election night (polls don’t close until after I post this, so I don’t know the results.) Turns out the question he asked the governor was, What is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
Christie tagged him and answered, What do you mean, African or European?

Regardless of your political leanings, that is hilarious. (Of course, my friend responded with I don’t know thaaaaa…, as he should have.)

In these days when a shared experience is a rarity, when we fancy ourselves islands of humanity and no one can really “get” us, it’s nice to see moments like this still happen. Here’s to a future with children who can embrace this.