Monthly Archives: June 2015

That’s so meta…

Maybe it’s ironic… I don’t think people use either term correctly, anyway. I might not be using it correctly, either.

I’m talking (well– typing) about talking about writing.

As I’ve said before, I’m writing this….story. With a lot of hard work it could become a trilogy or series. The first part is almost done… And I’ve frozen. I’m not out of ideas- in fact, I just figured a way out of a major plot hole. It’s just that I keep writing for the later parts, the parts that will go nowhere without the first part. I added in a totally gratuitous vignette that maaaaybe has no real place in the story. (Ooh, maybe it does! Just thought of something.)
I really should have finished the first part last week while the kids were in school. But now they’re home and want to, you know, do stuff. And I have to clean up, and get ready for family outings, and do the soccer club thing, and keep the kids from letting their brains ooze out their ears. Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera….
Here’s to doing enough to look like I’m doing it all.


Let’s get loud!

If a cannibal ate his way through Hollywood, why would he eat Jennifer Lopez last?

Because there’s always room for J-Lo!


Ok, yeah that was bad. I just used it as an introduction to my little discussion on weight loss. Jennifer Lopez has created a weight loss program called BodyLab that mainly comprises of an app for food and workout tracking and, if you really want to, some “supplement capsules.” I just like that I can make my own workout, pick my own food, and if I don’t want to use particular products, I don’t have to.

I’ve been intellectually conscious of the fact that I should lose weight, in the context of just trying to take better care of myself. But I truly believe that lots of things actually do taste better than how skinny feels. That’s probably because I have no freaking clue how skinny feels, but I know how bacon tastes (and donuts, and cake).

So as I said yesterday, summer is just about here, and that includes bathing suits and picnics. Most years, I get to this point and say, “oh well! I guess I’ll have to wait until next year to look better!” But this year, I chose to tell myself, “well, I’m sure I can do *something* now.”

Today was day 3 walking on the track. Two miles Monday, one mile Tuesday, and two miles today. At this rate, I’ll be walking 8 miles a week. It’s not a lot, especially since it’s walking, but it’s more than I did last week. And I broke down and bought the BodyLab “7 Day Ultra Fast Slim Kit” (TM). It was only $20, and I’m pretty sure I won’t have to buy it repeatedly. It’s supposed to “detox and cleanse” and “rev up the metabolism,” but if it does ANYTHING more than I would have done without it, it’s worth it to me. But I’ll let you know how it turns out.

Here’s to being more comfortable with myself. And maybe Jennifer Lopez’s butt.

Heeeeere comes aaaaaaaanother one!!!

*looks left*

*looks right*

Psst….. this is the last week of school. They’re almost done kicking butt in school and they’re ready to kick my butt over the summer.

Can I tell you a secret?

I’m not ready.

Last year, I tried. I really tried. I had chore lists, and reward systems, and vacation plans. A lot of it didn’t really go according to plan. It was okay– I’m not about to beat myself up for it. This year? I got nothin’. I’m a little scurred. So here– let me just think (and type) out loud what I’m going to do:

  • Definitely do the summer reading program with the kids
  • Early morning jog/walk– Regulator goes to a large-sided field in the Fall and the boy needs some endurance!
  • I’ll try the “chores for games” again
  • Get all the kids into the dentist’s office
  • Have a good vacation (new destination this time– hope it works out!)
  • If it’s not showing soccer, the TV is off
  • Have a couple trips to the town pool
  • Have a couple trips to the in-laws’ pool
  • Soccer camp-y-ness for any or all of the boys

Hmmmm…that’s a start.

Here’s to a summer that may not be 104 days long, but will have their diems carpe-d.

She has [soccer] balls!

**WARNING** This entry is going to be a little more crass than you might be used to from me. You might want to skip it if you aren’t one for anatomy language.

June, 2015: the FIFA Women’s World Cup is underway in Canada. 24 teams have come from around the world to claim the trophy and hopefully be a role model to kids along the way.

Now, I’m not a “womynist” (and if you don’t catch the “PCU” reference, I feel sorry for you), but there’s no reason for anyone to arbitrarily consider a woman as “less than” in terms of skill and ability. Men and women are built differently, and can’t do ALL of the same things, but they can do some of the same things.

"They're not about to participate in a phallus-naming"
They’re not about to participate in a phallus-naming…

So I was a little surprised when I mentioned the Women’s World Cup to my soccer playing boys, and they responded that it wouldn’t be as good as the Men’s World Cup we watched last year. When I asked why, Toughie said, “because they’re girls.”


Now, to be fair, the onslaught of soccer on their eyeballs is a rather new development. This is Pint Size Genius’ first year of travel soccer, and the other two are in their second year. I found it was easier to show them well-played soccer than to try and explain it. Toughie’s team had the opportunity to be on-field escorts for a New York Red Bulls game, and Regulator was able to join them too. From there we started watching Red Bulls games, followed by the rest of the MLS and then Barclay Premier League from England (thanks, NBC Sports!), and eventually the World Cup from Brazil in 2014. UEFA Champions League, International Friendlies… you get the idea.

All of these matches are played by men. They don’t watch women play.

So I turn on the TV, flip to Fox Sports1 (or 2, or basic Fox) and let the teams do the work:

My boys were BLOWN. AWAY. “Did you see that?” “Look at that goal!” “The men don’t play like that!” (Which is totally true: the women are more likely to shoot from outside the 18 while men get a lot closer, often inside the 6.)

That’s right: men and women play different. And both are great to watch.

On a similar note, I want to give a shout-out to Fox Sports 1, where I watch the pre-game coverage and some of the games. Rob Stone and Alexi Lalas are accompanied by previous WWC players such as Heather Mitts, Leslie Osborne, and Monica Gonzalez. Now– I’m no idiot: there’s an element of scripting in pre-game commentary, so every presenter gets a chance to speak, and no one is talking over anyone else. But it’s nice to hear women speaking from experience and analyzing the varying approaches of the game from teams around the world, just like they did when they played.

What? It’s not a penis party on FS1. (OK– I just love this scene from the movie.)

Here’s to kicking like a girl. #SheBelieves