19. Five fears that you have
- Being in a car and not driving it. Ever since I had my kids, I cannot trust others to drive, even though I’m rationally aware that other people are good drivers, probably even better than me. If I’m in the front passenger seat, I’m holding on to that “oh shit” handle on the door for dear life. I’m applying the “fake brake” constantly. I’m looking out the side window so I don’t have to look at the other cars on the road that I also am not in control of. I’m better if I’m in the backseat…but not by much.
- That I’m doing the “wife-and-mom” thing wrong. It’s highly likely that every wife and mom has that fear, and I don’t wish to delve into the self-deprecation that makes the Mommy Wars continue. But sometimes…. am I making the wrong decisions for their sake? Work/don’t work? A little pressure/a lot of pressure/ no pressure at all? Are they in the right sports? Am I supporting my husband’s choices enough? Is he supporting mine enough? The struggle is real.
- That I’m a horrible friend. I’m not fishing for a compliment (because I know a couple of my friends read my blog). I’ve always had this problem. I’m really good at forgetting things that are important to other people, and I’m also really good at not telling other people what is important to me– in some ways, that’s because I just don’t know. I have a good core group of friends, but many circumstances have made connections to that group difficult in the past year. I’ve made some new friends, but I want that core group back. I tell myself that it’s temporary and we will come back together, but in the meantime I’m not going to lie– it’s sad.
- That I come on way too strong. I want to have a lot of friends. I really do share interests with a lot of different people. But maybe other people don’t like that so much. I’m one of those people who once heard people I thought liked me talk about me behind my back, and realized that can happen at any time. I make a concerted effort to never do that to anyone else, but there is no guarantee others are doing the same.
What? I don’t have to explain that. Bears are scary.
Here’s to facing your fears. It’s worth the effort.