Tag Archives: mommy wars

Zero to Hero, Day 3:There are many like it, but this one is mine

Today’s assignment: write the post that was on your mind when you decided to start a blog.

Um, ok…
I spent a little time in the trenches. Drafted May 2004, and while I’m still eligible, I found that discharge was easy to come by.
I’ll stop with the analogy now, to avoid offending anyone. I’m talking about my time in the Mommy Wars.
The blogosphere is full of women who have taken sides on all sorts of parenting issues: vaccines, breast or bottle, co-sleeping, organic foods, and so on. Some are just explaining their own choices; others are flat out condemning those who might have the audacity to disagree. They brandish their opinions as though they are facts and demand others tolerate their intolerance.

… Ooh boy, who wouldn’t want to join in on that noise? (Hint: me.)

As I said, discharge from the front lines of the Mommy Wars is very easy to get: you just walk out. Do what you have to do, and change it up if it doesn’t work.

So I went back to work after having my boys. So I nursed them. So I switched to formula. So I made my own baby food….and bought it too. So I’m a stay at home mom now. So they watch TV. So they eat organic…sometimes. So I take them to church. So I send them to public school. So they have video games. So they don’t have iPads.

So. Freaking. What?

There is nothing wrong with the choices I made. And there’s nothing wrong with the choices you made. And I want every mom to know that. We can end the Mommy Wars with that statement.

Here’s to an end to the Mommy Wars, folks.


Who’s the boss?

Generally speaking, I’m the Switzerland of Mommy Wars. I understand that everyone has the right to choose what is best for them. To be honest, there are times when I have been on both sides of a particular issue (I’m a stay-at-home-mom now, but I worked with the other three babies; I nurse, but my babies turned me down before they could go to cow’s milk, so we ended up with formula; I’m no stickler for organic foods, but the cute little pouches are so dang convenient!).

I think the only thing I’m vehement about is keeping a schedule… or, rather, not keeping a schedule. I never forced my kids to take naps, and I certainly never made it so that my kids only slept in a bassinet or crib. If I’m out somewhere, and the baby falls asleep in her car seat, I’ll finish what I was doing and bring her home. If she’s till asleep, she stays in the car seat in the house. Maybe she takes 2, 3-hour naps; maybe she takes 5, 1/2 hour naps. The boys are not required to be silent when she’s sleeping, just as I never required that of myself or anyone in our home when the boys were nappers. The children do not run the house: never have, never will. I found putting them on a schedule was only putting me on a schedule.

Besides, we live with enough of a schedule anyway. School, soccer, church, parties… why add to that?

(NOTE: this is NOT about sleep training. If you’re teaching your child to sleep through the night, rock on, Gurl.)